Self-criticism is a topic that permeates our lives, even though we are not always conscious of it. If you constantly hold yourself to high standards, feel paralyzed by self-accusations, or simply want to better understand that inner voice that often judges you, this material may be helpful to you.
Let’s try to understand a bit what self-criticism is. If you know nothing about this subject but analyze the word itself, you will notice a few things about this concept: 1. there is criticism, and it must come from somewhere; and 2. there is someone to whom this criticism is directed. So, it is as if there are two parts within us: one that criticizes, imposes, and demands; and another one that suffers the consequences of such criticism.
I know it may seem strange to think of ourselves as divided into different parts. But this is actually supported by different psychological theories (social mentality theory, dialogical self theory). Art also seeks to illustrate this phenomenon. Walt Whitman wrote: “Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself. I am large, I contain multitudes”. The poet Fernando Pessoa also wrote about how this multifaceted nature is unknown to us: ” My soul is a hidden orchestra; I know not what instruments, what fiddlestrings and harps, drums and tamboura I sound and clash inside myself. All I hear is the symphony.”. The idea of the multifaceted nature of the self is not as inconceivable as it may sound when we first hear about it.
Usually, when we talk about self-criticism, we think of one part of the self that represents a way of thinking guided by social, cultural, and familial standards. This part aims to impose these rules and exercise punishment, generally in an aggressive and dominant way. The other part of the self, which suffers from these demands and punishments, is the one that feels, that has biologically adaptive emotions and needs associated with them, and generally, in a dynamic of self-criticism, remains in a position of greater submission to the other part. The first part, which we can call the internal critic or self-critic, often stifles the experiential self, preventing it from using its emotions adaptively to pursue its needs.
Perhaps this talk of different parts of oneself is a bit complicated, but the summary is that, just as we relate to other people, we also relate to ourselves. If someone treats us poorly, it has an effect on us, and it is no different when the process happens internally. However, the internal process generates greater complexities. Firstly, you may not always realize that it is happening. How do you act on something you can’t even perceive? Second, even if you perceive it, you may feel that you need it. You may think, for example, that you won’t be able to function in your job if you don’t demand or punish yourself when you commit a mistake, or that you won’t be loved by others if you don’t sacrifice your own needs to satisfy theirs. It is as if, in a way, this part that criticizes you became a kind of protector for you.
Self-criticism is a process related to various mental disorders, such as depression, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, eating disorders, and personality disorders. The treatment of many depressive and anxious disorders involves some form of work with self-criticism. In psychotherapy, we can identify the process of self-criticism, understanding its complex nuances, thus assisting clients to recognize this pattern and facilitating the process of discovering new ways to relate to oneself. Severe forms of self-criticism, if left untreated, can intensify depressive symptoms and suicidal thoughts.
REFERENCES
Brott, K. H., & Veilleux, J. C. (2023). Examining state self‐criticism and self‐efficacy as factors underlying hopelessness and suicidal ideation. Suicide and Life‐Threatening Behavior.
Gilbert, P. (Ed.). (2005). Compassion: Conceptualisations, research and use in psychotherapy. Routledge.
Greenberg, L. S., Rice, L. N., & Elliott, R. (1993). Facilitating emotional change: The moment-by-moment process. Guilford Press.
